just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
