It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
