You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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