His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
