Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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