I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize