things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
