Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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