i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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