His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
