Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
