Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
