No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
