Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
