i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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