...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
