Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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