You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
