3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
