So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
