so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
