Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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