Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
don't judge my taste in strippers
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
