the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
