The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My cat gives me a boner
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
