Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
