im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
