I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
