don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
