I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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