i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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