I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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