I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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