You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
