If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
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There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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