sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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