she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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