Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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