one two three fourrrrnication!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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