Where is the hickey?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
