is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
