Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
