Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize