nut hugger
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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