Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
