Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We need to get me chipped asap
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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