He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
