Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
