all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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