just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
