it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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