Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
