He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize