Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
