dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
