i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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