At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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