I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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