You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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