Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
