I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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