yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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