Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
