the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
