shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
either way he was missing a nipple.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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